The theory of musical relativity.

Disclaimer:Exceptions Shall And Will Continue To Exist

Music!

One of the very basic necessities of modern life. Being an ardent music lover, it has become my hobby to check out music lists of other people (These include acquaintances too). Hence, after a lot of observation and research work I’ve developed my very own “THEORY OF MUSICAL RELATIVITY”.

Wait, before you move your cursor to back button, hang on a sec. In the first place, this post has nothing to do with Einstein’s original theory of relativity, AT ALL. So rest assured.

Now that you have kept your inquisitive minds aside, let me present you my “THEORY OF MUSICAL RELATIVITY”.

As I mentioned earlier I’m a music lover and as a result I keep on checking out music lists from people’s cell phones, iPod. I’ve come to a conclusion (the theory thing). According to that, it is somewhat possible to determine the nature of any person depending on the type of the songs in his playlist.

So here we go!

TYPE A

I will let you know what this type is all about till then it is subdivided as follows.

Subtype 1

About their Music- These people will have all the popular songs in their list. They don’t even bother to search it on net and download it. 90% of the songs in their list are received via Bluetooth.

About them- Such people seriously are no music fans, regardless of how loud they sing a trending song. They will listen to it only for the time it is on those music charts. No particular choice.

Also, these people are often seen to be crazy about something else, say games, sports.

Subtype 2

About their Music- Type 2 boasts of those people who are actually not much into music but definitely more than type 1.One peculiar thing about people of this category is that they’ll have plenty of English songs in their list even if actually they listen to the handful of Hindi songs in their playlists furtively.

About Them- Just to impress others, they’ll make blank faces when you ask them about a recently popular Hindi movie song & they’ll go “Never heard of it”

(To those people- You know what, “**** off” You guys are doing nothing good to you or anyone else. Get off that veil. Accept that. Be a sport.)

Such people are the one who have been trying hard to make their mark, trying to stand apart. But believe me guys , trashing Hindi songs won’t help you at all.

Subtype 3

About their Music- These are “peppy” song lovers. They are the one who listen only such frisky party songs. Language doesn’t matter. Pitbull, Honey Singh are their favourites.

About Them- People of this nature may either be Happy Go Lucky or all bossy types.

Former are friends with almost everyone. They make others happy.

But when they are all bossy, boss they simply want everything under their control.

Listening sad songs with low beats freaks them out.

Subtype 4

About their Music- The “emotion overrated” category. It’s like every 1 out of 3 belong to this category. They’ll definitely, unquestionably will have all those “roothne-manane” wale songs. They’ll have old songs. “Jab Koi Baat” is their trademark song.

They still go crazy over DDLJ, the whole “Hum apke, Hum 77” series of Rajshree.

About Them- The most annoying facts about these people is that they force you to listen their favourite songs and ask you to feel the way they feel while listening it.

These are the ones who actually suck in real life. They’ll never make it big and will have similar friends. Their mood changes with the song they are listening.

Subtype 5

About Their Music- Call them Music Nazis. Music Buff they are. You sing them a part of any sensible song, they’ll tell you movie name, singer, music composer, etc. They enjoy music in real sense. They listen to songs beat by beat. They’ll have best earphones even with an average phone. They get annoyed when a song like “Emotional Atyachar” gets undue popularity.

About them- People of this category are actually chilled out. They can be bore to those “Peppy” song lovers but make good friends with people of every other category.

TYPE B

Time to raise the curtain.

This category includes “Girls”.

No, I couldn’t categorise them. They can love a song from 4 categories and still be of the fifth type. They have all sorts of songs.

I couldn’t typify them and simply have no idea about their behaviour. For once, I could calculate the percentage of water on moon. But when it comes to girls FUHGET IT!!

So which type do you fit in??

Advertisements

WHO AM I?

No, I am not putting riddles before you nor am I referring to somebody’s Bluetooth name (And if you thought that it referred to some Bollywood movie dialogue wherein Hero is diagnosed with “Memory Loss” , you better stop reading this post. )  This post is concerned with the tagline of this blog – Stranger in disguise. I have been trying to unveil the stranger in me. Off late, I am living with this feeling that whatever I am pretending to be, may not be the real me (Strictly only in context of me and my thinking, this is not concerned with behaviour with others). Now that’s strange. I have been under impression that my life would be the least intrigued amongst my friends.  But when I pondered over it, things just didn’t seem as they used to be. Who am I? Am I an atheist or a hard-core religious guy? (Yes, this is non Religious thing). I have been insomniac for past few days thinking over it . Maybe I shouldn’t have thought over the topic itself or I should have stopped thinking over it, but since we can’t switch off our thought-process just like we switch off our TV when Rakhi sawant gives us tips on Family bonding, I had to spend my days with the same focus going on my mind day and night. To answer my own status, I went through a profound analysis and I decided to point out facts that would either make me an atheist or a believer.

Why Atheist?

When it comes to believing old stories from holy texts of people flying in air without any aid, vanishing and reaching one place to other in no time, being invisible and other various miracles; my mind denies to accept all these things. It asks me the proof or logic behind it. And I am simply left with no answer. During childhood we don’t ask questions like these or we are immature to think up to level of questioning the authenticity of our old religious scriptures and related customs. We simply take it for granted and embrace those customs and rituals without thinking of even doubting it.

Our mind has been moulded and we have been brought up in a way only to believe those religious and “sacred” things. It is due to the advent of education we have been capable to think beyond boundaries or beyond what has been taught. People of early generations followed customs and traditions wholeheartedly. We listen to stories of half bodied ghosts from them. They try to convince us how real the incident was, yet it never happens to us. We only get to listen that it happened to their friend’s friend. Our generation may think before believing it but elder generations believe it without any hesitation. However inhuman those customs maybe, they never found it fallacious for they were firm believers and were not aware of the potentials of science and education. Here I am not talking about a particular religion , its common for all out there. Culminations of all above thoughts make it really difficult for me to consider myself as non-atheist.

Why Believer?

I personally don’t believe in ghosts. Still I can’t deny the fact that I am shit scared to walk alone in so called haunted farms at night. Yeah that may be termed as paradox but that’s what the reality. I keep on convincing my friends that there are no ghosts but then when I am challenged with task of  going alone to old Havelis at midnight I am forced to keep mum. That again makes me think over my recently acquired status of being an atheist. Secondly, when someone swears at God of my birth religion, I feel like someone pouring molten iron in my ears (I know, that’s filmy. Can’t help!). My spontaneous reaction would turn in violent outburst of my anger. I can surely go violent for the same God whom I refused to believe flying and vanishing, if somebody abuses Him.

Also, when I am in some serious trouble, chants of several Gods automatically come out of mouth. Same thing happens with me when I am standing in queue for my academic results. At that very moment I transform into a firm believer of God. Also if any of my friend is in such a problem where there is no solution, I try to console him only by the name of God, at that time God remains the the only hope for me.

And finally, we all need to have someone to imagine , like God or some likely spirit which governs everything in this world. At least, for the sake of surviving, because at the end of these practical things there has to be something or someone whom should we bow down and should be scared of.

Yes I am now back to my earlier and regular life (Thank GOD) and I am totally ok.

PS- I am not a hypocrite.

Signing Off.

The Dawn of the (non) Modern Area!

We need to reach there by 5.30″ argued my friend.

I thought 5.30 was too early to reach there that too under this scorching June sun. I suggested we reach there by 6.30 and explained the logic behind it.

He laughed out hard at my very general knowledge. After a few minutes(when he stopped laughing) he enlightened me that all this bazaar thing comes alive only in early morning hours of friday and that too mostly between 4.30 to 6.30. That meant we need to wake up at 4. It was like a bombshell for a lazy lad like me who thinks its too early when you wake up @ 8 in morning. I asked him twice, thrice and there was no change in his answer. He kept on repeating it and asked  me to wake up the next day at 4 in the morning. I was like Hell no! Who’ll sacrifice his lovely midnight sleep for a pair of jeans. But then thought of getting a levis, spyker jeans for 250 bucks made me give a long thought at it. I pondered for a while and gave a nod in agreement. So here was I , all set for visiting this 150 year old flea market very well known as chor bazaar.

Next day I woke up with the alarm (the first time when I used my cell for that reason and also the first time when I woke up without the typical dejavu situation where my mom is screaming at me to wake me up and dad is cursing her for the extra affection showered upon me. According to him, my mom was at fault for my outstanding punctuality in waking up. Quite long, eh?) Coming back to the track, I freshened up and gave a missed call to my friend. In return all I could get was a missed call just of 0.125 milliseconds. With all kindness and generosity, I CALLED him again and it was decided to reach our meeting point in 5 minutes. So, according to the norms, I donned the worst possible tee shirt and a track-pant and embarked upon this adventurous journey.

A watch flashed 5.20 am as we reached Grant Road Station. I was surprised to see a few groups of guys getting down off the foot-over bridge in half pants (or even just boxers) with bags clasped on their chests. I wondered what was it for which I figured out later.

Moving on, as soon as we stepped out of the station a herd of taxi drivers came running at us. We chose to sit in the taxi whose driver had white hairs on his chest ( I figured it out after getting into that taxi). Spitting the red semi-liquid thing out of his mouth , he asked us with a pale expression “Kidhar? Kapda kharidneka hai ki juta?” We meekly replied “Kapda“. And he drove us to an alley where all the other taxi drivers stopped their Ferraris. He instructed us on how to reach the bazaar from there with a free tip to be extra careful. As we progressed down the alley, I felt like entering in a whole new world. Whoa! This place was great, full of life, it was all hustle bustle everywhere. We could see more than a hundred traders, offering anything to everything that could fit on the mat. The alley was bursting with crazy youth scampering around to strike the best deal for jeans, tee shirts, jackets at the cheapest price. We pushed a few guys to have a look at a jeans stall. Great stuff. But as the natural human tendency,we went on moving from one stall to another. Checking out shirts, jerseys, shoes and moving in that crammed street I was delighted to enjoy the dawn in this new area as it shone upon us.

At 6.10 , according to the taxi driver’s instructions we then went to the core Chor Bazaar. Being in the midst of this bazaar I was already elated and the very thought of entering the actual Chor bazaar  where they say all the Real Stuff is sold, simply added to my exhilaration. While reaching there a passers by shouted at us “Jaldi jao bhai, nahi to sara maal khatam ho jaega“, followed by two more guys telling us to reach there early. I thought this should be the marketing strategy of those traders to allure new people in the locality as they cant advertise on TV ( Imagine watching an advert featuring Harman Baweja and Sneha ullal dancing on music score by pritam promoting this bazaar with lines “Paiye ORIGINAL branded kapde, joote etc. Aapke apne Chor BaZaar me ending with a punch line – CBZ the original.) Running out of patience to hold my eagerness , I started running towards the crowed alleys with my friend singing song whose lyrics read “Daddy mujse bola….. Bhag bhag dk“. Reaching those gullies I found myself in a stampede like condition. There was no option other than pushing hard if you wanted to move on. I could barely see my lower half, and hence in order to safeguard my cell phone I (somehow) put on the music player of my cell with earphone on,which I had already arranged in the train. Yes that is one way to know whether you have your cell with you.

This place had even more offerings.The traders had lots of things to offer ranging from watches, sunglasses, a huge array of antiques, jewellery, household crockery and cameras.  Then there were electronics ranging from televisions, both new and old (including an LCD), washing machines, computer monitors, laptops, juicers, mixers and grinders, irons et al.We were lucky to get our hands on some unseen goodies. Anyone new to this place have been overwhelmed. So were we and hence started looking out for some good bargains.

Obviously its hard to hold yourself back when there are Nike shoes for just 300 bucks and Rado watches for 150. As advised by my friend, we didn’t waste much time in gaping at other things and went searching for jeans & t shirt. By now the bazaar was bulging to the seams. We bought a pair of jeans. I also purchased a tshirt that made my wallet to lie empty in my friend’s bag ( I was too lazy to carry my own bag ). After visiting a few shops we were carrying a pair of tshirt and jeans. Once we had purchased what we desired we then went roaming stall to stall having glances at everything and anything out there. At a shoe stall where the hawker claimed to sell an original Puma for 350 bucks,

I halted to call my friend who went out of my sight for a while.

As he approached me my gaze was fixed at his bag which seemed to be in half open condition. I quickly asked him to check for our wallets.

Bang on! We were pick pocketed. Holy shit! I stood frozen then and there itself. Keeping all the calm I could, I started recollecting things.

Yes I had my (not so happening)college id, library card, bus and train pass, some keys, sim cards in the wallet. The only thing to my relief was it didn’t contain my debit card. I thanked God for making me keep my debit card at home while leaving for this place. Suddenly all the excitement and enthusiasm died down. I could only thank God for letting this happen only after I bought what I wanted. We figured out the reason for everybody having their bags clasped to their chests.

A few minutes before I wanted to visit each and every stall out there, but now I felt like leaving that place that moment itself. After loitering for a little while we started walking out of the crowd. So were everyone else and even the traders. It felt as if the they were waiting only for us to get robbed. I later came to know it was a pack up time for the bazaar. We traveled back to the station in silent mode. At the station we burst out laughing over that situation and for that poor Chor who, at the expense of risk taken could only manage my empty wallet ( Yeah my friends wallet remained untouched).

Maybe that’s why they say its not only a Chor bazaar but also a Chor’s bazaar!

ECONOMICS? Not My Cup of Tea!

I was a bit confused over the title for this post. I could’ve simply gone with   “Corruption? Not again”   or   ” Corruption-The  Ultimate Culprit “.  But since all the news papers and websites are flooded with the word corruption, people nowadays hardly devote time to read it. Besides I wanted everybody out there to read and understand this post , which required  an appealing title and the fact that you are reading this post tells me that the purpose is served.

Not only for that reason I’ve named it so, there lies another , a very significant reason behind it. For this post, to probe I asked a question to 10 friends of mine which was, “What do you think about therecent Increase in Petrol Price and the Falling Rupee?” Out of 10 , nine replied me the title (of this post) and even advised me to ignore such “petty” issues. In fact I found out later that they had dragged me in their discussion and I was participating in topics like “what could be Poonam Pandey’s impending escapade” or “what might be the reason behind a particular chick’s ignorance towards all of them“(including me, puff). After several attempts of bringing in my topic , I wondered, perhaps making these guys understand the gravity of the subject was not my cup of tea. Oh yes, the tenth guy, he seemed a bit cautious as he went on to pour scorn on the government. His only concern was skyrocketing petrol prices. He explained me how difficult it has become to him to make excuses to his fourth and final(apparently) gf when it came to drop her home on his bike.

He then rattled about his bike stunts, regular gf complains ( every time he adds this sentence at the begining “This time its different yaar” just like ACP Pradyuman saying “Daya, is bar case kuch alag lagta hai”), and ended with abusing the “bloody government” once again. What amazed me was, in all these conversations none of them gave a damn about the functioning, the structure or let us say the entire system that affects our goddamned economy. I gave a thought, “Man, how can we be sooo ignorant about the growing economic crisis that can land up us in some serious trouble?“  Yes, we are young, we are restless, we love partying , we love hanging out  but then does it mean we should remain least bothered about the problems country is facing? Instead of confronting it, it seems most of us are trying to resort to the escapism by letting it all up to our well educated and well cultured politicians. I have so much to write on politics but since this post is dedicated to our shattering economy, I’d write about it in detail some other day.

Speaking of petrol prices and falling rupee, these are two sides of the same coin having a far but an eminent connection with the surfacing corruption. Petroleum companies like Indian oil, Bharat Petroleum and Hindustan Petroleum have imposed a 7.5 rs/lit price hike on petrol, recording the highest hike ever. These firms have recently published a joint statement claiming that they have incurred heavy losses due to sale of 3 products- Diesel, LPG and Kerosene at highly subsidized rates. They have also pointed out the fact that increasing petrol price was the only alternative left after the rupee hit an all time low against USD.

Let us understand what it takes to fix petrol price. Currently the crude oil prices in the internationalmarket are less that what it had been during Aug 2008. Then what made Central Govt to increase petrol prices is beyond anyone’s scope of understanding. Have a look at following conversion- One dollar currently equals to 56 Rupees. One barrel of crude oil (containing 150 litres) is sold at a rate of 100 USD in the international market. Petroleum companies spend 672 rs/barrel for refining it. That means a total of (5600+672) 6272 Rs is required to purchase and refine one barrel (150 lit) of petrol. Simple mathematical calculations reveal 1 litre of petrol sums up to 41.81 Rs.
Price of the same petrol goes up to 78rs/lit when import duty, sales tax and several other state and government taxes are added to it. Petrol prices vary from state to state depending upon the tax imposed. Its pretty clear from the above analysis that only two factors greatly influence the price of petrol in the country viz 1) Value of Rupee against USD And 2) State and Central Govt taxes. So amongst there two factors that govern the prices where do we concentrate our efforts to prevent further price hikes?

1)Value of Rupee against USD

We are helpless about this part as it is totally dependent upon the interests of foreign investors.  Value of Rupee increases when more and more foreign investors invest their capital in Indian markets. Indian stock exchanges are  highly depended and dominated by foreign investors. When the  economy is doing well and stock  markets are in better conditions  than other countries’ bourses,  foreign investors will be more  eager to invest here than  anywhere else. They need rupee  to invest in India so the demand  is higher what results in higher  value of Indian currency. But if  they are pulling the money out  from Indian markets, they are  selling rupees that results in  rupee’s fall in value. Indian  markets are in worse condition  now than 1 year before and  investors are having smaller real returns. Global sentiments after  US downgrade and Euro zone  crisis lead the overseas investors  to sell in India and buy US  Dollars. USD is considered now  the safest currency in the world . So the higher  demand in USD also causes the rupee depreciation.

2)State and Central Govt. taxes 

All that we have in our hand is control over taxes. One must understand government imposes tax on various commodities only to finance  various public services. It is this money that caters to funding of several packages and projects like metro train, flyovers etc proclaimed by the govt. After pondering for a while I realized the real culprit behind all these increased tax impositions and price hikes is (again) corruption. Yes, the root cause is found out. Take any govt project , for example the Bandra-Worli sea link ( If you are in Mumbai you should definitely visit that place. The tides on blue sea water, vehicles speeding at 100kmph, the feeling of driving over the huge suspension cable bridge, the cool sea breeze..Simply awesome, it’ll blow your senses off). The estimated cost of the project was 300 crore and after its completion it piled up to a whopping 1684 crore. “As a result of constant change of plans and other delays the cost of bridge has risen over six fold to 1600 crore” is what they had to say. Believing them is a tough task , still being a bit lenient lets us accept that some of it goes in genuine and actual requirements that crop up during construction. Point taken. (When we are being a bit lenient we shall not miss out the stark reality of scams taking place during the project. We all know when a cement bag of 100 Rs is to be used, not even half the amount is actually spent in purchasing the cement bag. Yes, you still drive your cars safely no the flyovers built by such quality cement. Its only because of high ‘factor of safety’. Engg branches like mechanical , civil and prod are well acquainted with that term. Wake up guys, be a bit attentive) But then still a difference of 1300 crores.

[Note- Sea link project is JUST for example purpose] Now that’s interesting. Where does all this money of ‘aam janta’ go? Yes, it went into pockets. And hence where two projects could’ve done in the same amount only one project is pronounced (Get that, only declared). Then from where shall the govt make up money  for second project? From us, we the innocent and least bothered people of India!

Way to go, Youngistan!

Notes- 1} Petroleum companies have stated the decision to inflict steep rise in petrol price only because of the rupee’s depreciation. As now they have to pay additional 200 rs/barrel than what they paid a month before.

2} Also, on the other hand, the crude oil prices experienced a decline in rates from 120$/barrel to 98$/barrel.

Paradox, ain’t it?

On that note my cup of coffee is getting cold. Leaving you with points to ponder(Hopefully).:-D

Reference- http://www.nyse.tv/crude-oil-price-history.htm

Originally written for Indian Fusion.